tio de nadal aka "uncle shit"

My Spanish work pal Nuria explained the most fascinating Catalan Christmas tradition to me at dinner last night, which she fondly titled "Uncle Shit".

Spanish children are encouraged to paint a face on a log, wrap it in a blanket and feed it every night, then beat it with a stick until it "poops" presents on Christmas day.

No shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ti%C3%B3_de_Nadal

mass-sex-odus

Has begun in earnest.

Watch out London, pretty soon all the coolest people will be on the other side of the world catching rays, picnicing and generally having a whale of a time, while you are drowning in dark months of gloom.

mc cinnabun & the cupcake crew

In honour of Jason's birthday, our work posse constructed some flowing rhymes about a fictional bakery.

In the order of the ensuing email conversation, here are the results.

Walking down the wrong street you might end up dead
But visit my bakery and you'll get some tiger bread
I'm not bragging or boasting but baking and toasting
adding currents to a bun and roasting
let my beats rise....
let my bread rise...
check out my croissants, my bread and my rolls
none of this shit leaves my oven cold
moulding and needing the dough Bruce Grobler
and you haven't even tasted my pan du chocolate

I let my beat flow,
As natural as the olive encrusted sourdough,
I bake in my store,
Everything organic to the core,
My yeast's from the East,
Rises like a beast,
I bake 10 kilo's an hour,
Using shitloads of flour.

i earn money making bread
to support my kid on the one i wed
mis-selling and big bonuses are forgotten
a batch of 13 is a bakers dozen
i swapped corporate sales
for the weighing scales
i make more bread for old ladies
than bill cosby is having babies
the job of a baker is more than just yeast and flour
the men in their suits look at me and scour
i have the world record for making 150 doughnuts in an hour
when i go home, my wife loves how smell.. so i never shower

That's right, baked goods, baked straight out the hood
You can't bake like this-- and no use wishing you could
Our breadmaker is our moneymaker
Every sugary creation has its lucky taker
While you shake your buns, we make 'em hot and crossed
Deliver 'em by the dozen at a profitable cost
Our donuts and our scones are all delicious
Eat them breakfast, lunch and dinner to stay bootylicious
Kelis' milkshake isn't half as tasty
so go on y'all: take a bite out our pastry!

I own a bakery
Because I love to have high tea
I failed my last inspection
But my cakes are perfection
Do not mind the flies
They’re just currants with small eyes
They give protein to my dough
Cus that’s the way I like to flow
But then I baked a clown
And now my bakery is down

Yo Pillsbury..kick it!
My bun
My bun
My bun has expired
Confused sell by for use by
A gastronomic quagmire
Off to the baker man here I go
Needs'ta get me some carb over'lo
pat-a-cake pat-a-cake baker dude
pat me a cake bi@*ch
Sorry didn't mean to sound rude
Feinding the starchy stuff can't you tell
Your wholegrain goodness has got me under a spell

a perfect example of a word that makes no sense when repeated a few times

In banana related news, I have recently been impressed by the addition to my office kitchen of a fruit bowl with a banana hanger. Ingenious, practical and aesthetically pleasing! What more can a lover of the morning banana ask for!

sock it to me

As I've grown up my tastes have matured and I have come to appreciate the small things. Like socks. Lots of socks. And shoes that allow me to show off my socks. Two of my favourite websites to look at nice socks, and to direct people to buy me presents are Tabio and Happy Socks. Primark has been good recently too, surprisingly.

One good thing about the looming cold winter months.

i like to say, salsa

Salsa classes with Amanda (and sometimes co.) have been a regular mid-week London highlight of late. It's hard to explain why precisely, when essentially the weekly experience is differing degrees of noise, sweaty-palms, exhaustion, repetition and body-odor stench. The men, whilst having noble intentions, are at best bow-legged, bouncy, too forceful, not forceful enough, over-friendly, stinky-breathed or just a bit too shuffle-ey. Nonetheless Amanda and I are improving (I think), despite our waning patience, and waiting until we can kick it with the big kids, or just advance to normal 'Beginners'.

oh harvey

You were as cool as a cucumber.

pirate admirer

If I asked you why pirates wear a patch you'd most likely say that it's because they lost an eye in a fight with a hook-handed enemy or a lusty encounter gone wrong with a beer wench wielding an infected fingernail right?

WRONG.

According to some random wasted man wearing a fake moustache and yellow jumpsuit at a Whitechapel warehouse party on the weekend, they wear, or more correctly I suppose wore them, so that when they went down below deck (note my pirate lingo) they wouldn't have to wait for their eyes to adjust to the dark, and would be able to see immediately.

Thar ya go!

i lost my mind, long ago

i was going to type some lyrics i love here, but alas, they have escaped me and i need to go to sleep

Trips overseas are always defined by the music I get obsessed with while i'm walking aimlessly around. My first Europe trip was Phoenix. South America was Lupe Fiasco and Weakerthans. My recent trip with Matt in Germany was The Brakes and probably other stuff that has slipped my mind.

My ipod usage has gone into overdrive recently (thanks Durrants) and my obsessions last for weeks instead of months.

Most recent/current obsessions include but are not limited to: (this list has been compiled for no other reasons than posterity and to jog my memory in the future when I've forgotten this moment in time)

Chairlift
CFCF
Tiago La
The Cribs
The National
Camera Obscura
Okkervil River
Lil' Wayne
Passion Pit
Matt and Kim
The Hold Steady
(new just in. Angus and Julia Stone)

motherfucking tart

learn something new every day

Apparently crushed garlic turns blue when baked on eggplant in the oven. Also Monopoly was invented to warn students about the dangers of property accumulation but they got bored and changed it to be the aim of the game.

london sundays

I've already posted my prettiest photos from my latest roll of film to be developed on Facebook, which I later realised were all taken on lazy Sunday wanderings, so I thought I would show you (you being my blog that no one probably reads) all to my duds.

There are three main faults I can identify. Not enough light, having something in front of the lens, and just generally taking a photo of something boring.

By the end of the year I want to successfully print a 36 roll with no duds.

sometimes

I just don't know.

sprung

twinkle toes

Due to a crippling hangover this morning I slept in until 1pm, and as a result am still awake at 1am with no sign of sleep on the horizon.

The lights I can actually see on the horizon as I watch out of my bedroom window appear to be twinkling like stars, and I wonder why. I used to imagine the flickering of far-away lights was because there was a tree in front of them swaying back and forth, but now that theory seems preposterous. I guess it is some weird eye/distance/perception thing but I prefer to think of thousands of trees swaying in front of each street light.

Wow, how deep and profound.

dalai lama....llama

soup da loop

After munching through two bowls of soup for dinner tonight I started thinking about how many bowls I have eaten since arriving in London. With a rotation of three main soup recipes made with various ingredient additions, an average of two soup cook-ups per week, and around 6 bowls per recipe I would say that in three months there is a high chance I have chowed down approximately 100-120 bowls. Add to that soup from the work canteen, Asian noodle soup from restaurants, miso soup from Pret and soup cooked for me by Kim and Stu and I could be pushing 130. Boy am I lucky I love soup.

Tonight I cooked Pasta e Fagioli soup with mushed italian white beans, pasta, vegies and rosemary which looked something like this and tasted even better...

tongue tied

My interest in international tongue twisters was sparked last night following a conversation with some new friends. Here are some of the best ones I have found today following an hour of Saturday evening YouTube time wasting.

Russian



German



Polish



Japanese



Turkish

umbrella to the rescue!

I have been desperately missing my nightly read since arriving in London. Due to the lack of a lamp I found the perfect excuse for watching TV into the wee hours of the morning, but bemoaned the lack of a conveniently located light for months. Until now! Turns out my room is so tiny my umbrella is the perfect length to easily pick up and turn off the light at my sleepy leisure. And I may even finish A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius before Rob gets back from India.

Just like the time I constructed a violin out of pubic hair and matchsticks.

meet me in soho

Friends reunion! May 2010! London and Barcelona! Belly rubbing training under way!

with eccles in my heart

My mind isn't very coherent at the moment so I'm just going to post links to two things which I think are pretty cool.

exquisite clock at the v+a.




Magazines with pictures that turn into videos when viewed in a webcam. Gosh, how ingenious!

http://teenagers.colorsmagazine.com/tutorial.php

what rhymes with origami?

I have been honing my origami skills recently.

crazy daze

So I haven't written anything on here since NYE, not due to laziness but quite the opposite. My life has been a haze of drinking, dancing, sight-seeing, cooking, eating and working. In the past 7 days I have seen a west end show, hung out with my sister who I haven't seen in 6 months, spent a hectic 40 hours running through Paris in the snow eating crepes and bread sticks, said goodbye to Matt for another long time, helped a friend sort out her stuff to travel back to Australia while also drinking wine, played indie bingo, gone out for dinner, tentatively made plans to go to a festival in Barcelona with Cristina, stayed up until 3am writing emails to friends and worked full time. Phew I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Tonight I got into my PJ's at 6:30 and haven't moved much and it feels like heavenly vanilla flavoured fairy floss.

All I can think about right now is returning to this exact location in 6 months time to enjoy the Parisian ducks (for watching not eating!), sunshine and cheese.

feliz ano nuevo mis amigos

Too tired to think of something to write. Full to the brim with whatever food I could stuff into my cake-hole today. Nice and clean and tucked up in bed after two days of drunken debauchery and dirtyness. Blew my nose on my scarf last night in a NYE-nostalgia and homesickness induced crying chat to Ca. Forgot about it completely until Ca reminded me today while Kim was wearing it. Sorry Kim. Great night full of dancing to Lil Wayne and Neon Neon. Tramping about Camden in snow. Can't make sentences. G'night.