tio de nadal aka "uncle shit"

My Spanish work pal Nuria explained the most fascinating Catalan Christmas tradition to me at dinner last night, which she fondly titled "Uncle Shit".

Spanish children are encouraged to paint a face on a log, wrap it in a blanket and feed it every night, then beat it with a stick until it "poops" presents on Christmas day.

No shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ti%C3%B3_de_Nadal

mass-sex-odus

Has begun in earnest.

Watch out London, pretty soon all the coolest people will be on the other side of the world catching rays, picnicing and generally having a whale of a time, while you are drowning in dark months of gloom.

mc cinnabun & the cupcake crew

In honour of Jason's birthday, our work posse constructed some flowing rhymes about a fictional bakery.

In the order of the ensuing email conversation, here are the results.

Walking down the wrong street you might end up dead
But visit my bakery and you'll get some tiger bread
I'm not bragging or boasting but baking and toasting
adding currents to a bun and roasting
let my beats rise....
let my bread rise...
check out my croissants, my bread and my rolls
none of this shit leaves my oven cold
moulding and needing the dough Bruce Grobler
and you haven't even tasted my pan du chocolate

I let my beat flow,
As natural as the olive encrusted sourdough,
I bake in my store,
Everything organic to the core,
My yeast's from the East,
Rises like a beast,
I bake 10 kilo's an hour,
Using shitloads of flour.

i earn money making bread
to support my kid on the one i wed
mis-selling and big bonuses are forgotten
a batch of 13 is a bakers dozen
i swapped corporate sales
for the weighing scales
i make more bread for old ladies
than bill cosby is having babies
the job of a baker is more than just yeast and flour
the men in their suits look at me and scour
i have the world record for making 150 doughnuts in an hour
when i go home, my wife loves how smell.. so i never shower

That's right, baked goods, baked straight out the hood
You can't bake like this-- and no use wishing you could
Our breadmaker is our moneymaker
Every sugary creation has its lucky taker
While you shake your buns, we make 'em hot and crossed
Deliver 'em by the dozen at a profitable cost
Our donuts and our scones are all delicious
Eat them breakfast, lunch and dinner to stay bootylicious
Kelis' milkshake isn't half as tasty
so go on y'all: take a bite out our pastry!

I own a bakery
Because I love to have high tea
I failed my last inspection
But my cakes are perfection
Do not mind the flies
They’re just currants with small eyes
They give protein to my dough
Cus that’s the way I like to flow
But then I baked a clown
And now my bakery is down

Yo Pillsbury..kick it!
My bun
My bun
My bun has expired
Confused sell by for use by
A gastronomic quagmire
Off to the baker man here I go
Needs'ta get me some carb over'lo
pat-a-cake pat-a-cake baker dude
pat me a cake bi@*ch
Sorry didn't mean to sound rude
Feinding the starchy stuff can't you tell
Your wholegrain goodness has got me under a spell

a perfect example of a word that makes no sense when repeated a few times

In banana related news, I have recently been impressed by the addition to my office kitchen of a fruit bowl with a banana hanger. Ingenious, practical and aesthetically pleasing! What more can a lover of the morning banana ask for!

sock it to me

As I've grown up my tastes have matured and I have come to appreciate the small things. Like socks. Lots of socks. And shoes that allow me to show off my socks. Two of my favourite websites to look at nice socks, and to direct people to buy me presents are Tabio and Happy Socks. Primark has been good recently too, surprisingly.

One good thing about the looming cold winter months.

i like to say, salsa

Salsa classes with Amanda (and sometimes co.) have been a regular mid-week London highlight of late. It's hard to explain why precisely, when essentially the weekly experience is differing degrees of noise, sweaty-palms, exhaustion, repetition and body-odor stench. The men, whilst having noble intentions, are at best bow-legged, bouncy, too forceful, not forceful enough, over-friendly, stinky-breathed or just a bit too shuffle-ey. Nonetheless Amanda and I are improving (I think), despite our waning patience, and waiting until we can kick it with the big kids, or just advance to normal 'Beginners'.

oh harvey

You were as cool as a cucumber.

pirate admirer

If I asked you why pirates wear a patch you'd most likely say that it's because they lost an eye in a fight with a hook-handed enemy or a lusty encounter gone wrong with a beer wench wielding an infected fingernail right?

WRONG.

According to some random wasted man wearing a fake moustache and yellow jumpsuit at a Whitechapel warehouse party on the weekend, they wear, or more correctly I suppose wore them, so that when they went down below deck (note my pirate lingo) they wouldn't have to wait for their eyes to adjust to the dark, and would be able to see immediately.

Thar ya go!

i lost my mind, long ago

i was going to type some lyrics i love here, but alas, they have escaped me and i need to go to sleep

Trips overseas are always defined by the music I get obsessed with while i'm walking aimlessly around. My first Europe trip was Phoenix. South America was Lupe Fiasco and Weakerthans. My recent trip with Matt in Germany was The Brakes and probably other stuff that has slipped my mind.

My ipod usage has gone into overdrive recently (thanks Durrants) and my obsessions last for weeks instead of months.

Most recent/current obsessions include but are not limited to: (this list has been compiled for no other reasons than posterity and to jog my memory in the future when I've forgotten this moment in time)

Chairlift
CFCF
Tiago La
The Cribs
The National
Camera Obscura
Okkervil River
Lil' Wayne
Passion Pit
Matt and Kim
The Hold Steady
(new just in. Angus and Julia Stone)